Feel in the dumps b/c I am dissapointed by myself.

Recently, I often hate myself. I feel that I have to go beyond what I can do right now. But, I often end up doing my routine.

"For now," which is a very attractive and scary phrase.

I'm trying to do something. But, I don't. Why? Because I don't have enough time. Then, I'm doing something else. And I'm grumbling... I think I'm so lame.

Maybe all I have to do is forget the phrase "for now." Then, I should try to work on what I really want to do.

Summer Vacation

Most Japanese business people are taking their vacations next week. But, I'm not. I don't know if it is good. If I take a vacation, I want to go abroad. But, airplane tickets during the holiday season are kind of pricey.

Why I write

I just don't like the summer in Tokyo. It's too muggy, which often irritates me and helps me lose motivation to anything. I mean "anything," not "something." I can't do anything I really want to do or I've got to do.

Well, I know. You may have this golden question in your head. You would say, "So, why are you writing this terrible entry in poor English, outrageous2007?" Right. Your question is so sagacious that I don't think I have the right to answer it. All I can say now is I'm pretty much absent-minded and I don't know what to write and what I'm writing, much less why I'm writing.

Anyway, let me tell you a little bit about writing. Although I can't speak English as fluently as most of returnees and those who have lived in the states or other English speaking countries for many years, writing English is a pain (Maybe, reading my terrible English might be a pain for you, my friend). It's neither because I have a great command of the English language or because I can write good English. It's just because writing is part of my life, which nobody can eliminate from me.

Wherever I am, whoever is around me, no matter what language I use, I will write. I don't know why I'm writing or what is making me do so. I write something. That's it.