What is the most important thing?

My room is very messy because there are a lot of books. However, I haven't even touched most of them. While trying to touch any of the stacks around my desk, I drop by a bookstore and buy another book that looks interesting.

Why does it happen? Partly because I am interested in many things, which is not a bad thing. Mostly because I can't control my schedule, though, which is a really bad thing.

Actually, I must have much more free time than most of Japanese business people. I am not working as a parttimer. I teach a few classes in a week, and I have to prepare for them. The rest is my free time.

I can see a picture hung on the wall. That says "New Year's Resolution: 2008." It says:

-Get a TOEIC score of over 950
Did I? Not yet. My maximum score is 945. Maybe the one I took last Sunday might be. But, God only knows the result so far.

- Pass STEP EIKEN (1st Grade)
Did I? Not yet. Actually, I surely know why I can't make it. Vocabulary. But, I haven't finished any vocabulary book since New Year's Day in 2008. The last time I took the EIKEN, I felt that my reading skills should be improved too. While taking the listening part, I couldn't choose the best answer despite the fact that I understood almost all of the tape because of being unable to finish reading the answer choices.

- Get a TOEFL score over 100
Did I? No. I even haven't taken the test.

And I have intended to take the Cambridge Exam (CPE) after the previous three targets are accomplished. But, none of them hasn't been conquered. So, I can't start to set a target for the Cambridge...

However, as a mater of fact, the most important thing is not to pass these exams. As you know, there are some people with higher TOEIC/TOEFL scores can't speak English fluently. Most of the EIKEN words are not frequently used. The Cambrige is said to be much better than other English language exams, but it is still just a test.

Of course, the most important thing is to keep learning English. I thought that I have learned a lot about the English language while completing my master's in TESL in the states. However, I can't be satisfied with my skills now, and I even feel my English is getting worse at times. Whenever I speak to native speakers in Tokyo, I can recognize how awkwardly I speak.

It is easy to say that it is because I don't use English now as often as I used to. But, I know many people who learned to speak better English than me only with domestic language learning. My English learning is not a competition, I am learning for myself. Whenever I hear about those people, I feel embarassed. If I didn't improve my English again, I would undervalue my MA-TESL and feel sorry for the professors who were really helpful.

Therefore, I have to try to use my free time in order to speak/write good English again and to understand English up to nearly 100%. Hope I can keep this motivation forever.

I am thinking of getting back to the states soon. Before that, though, I will start to learn English again.



Steve is a good guy. He reflects himself whenever he screws up. But, he often forgets what he reflects about. I'll try not to do the same mistake as he does.